Learning to Run

My blog starts with this incredible song today :)

My favorite section of lyrics reads:         Sometimes I feel like
                                                    I've never been nothing but tired
                                                    And I'll be working
                                                    Till the day I expire
                                                    Sometimes I lay down
                                                    No more can I do
                                                    But then I go on again
                                                    Because you ask me to

     This week it was easy to relate to the song. I balance two jobs (40+ hours a week), full time school (with three nasty midterms this week), keeping up a social life, making time for church responsibilities, and then I just added teaching another seminary class into the mix. Before it sounds too whiny let me say, I LOVE WHAT I DO! If I didn't love it, I wouldn't do it. However fatigue creeps in. I start to feel like I've spread myself too thin and when it comes time to do the very most important things my energy seems futile. 

      It's the classic object lesson. You have to fit rocks, water, and pebbles into a jar without having anything spill out. It is impossible to accomplish unless you put the rocks (symbolizing spiritual priorities) in first. However, I'm gonna 'fess up--I don't always remember to do that. I know that the problem I'm going to discuss would be resolved if I would simply remember to prioritize and always put spiritual things first.

       Sometimes I do a bad job at reading my scriptures. Sometimes I kneel down in prayer to end my day and fall asleep before I can say "amen." Sometimes I cancel my trips to the temple to fit it more study time because I used my original time to do that hanging out with friends. Sometimes I'm really lame and forget what's most important. 

       The effects of my bad balancing can lead to potentially very dangerous consequences. As I slack in my diligence I begin to lose momentum--in all things. I begin to feel bad about the things I'm not giving enough attention to. I begin to feel like I can't accomplish anything. I begin to feel like all my hard work, especially in refining my testimony is getting lost. I feel like Satan is biting at my heels waiting for me to not accomplish my visiting teaching, or go to the temple, or have the ability to listen and understand the spirit. 

       This is when I begin to feel like I'm running. The visual I have is me running towards some distant light, although the majority of the world around me is dark. I have that feeling of someone being behind me. It's so ominous. I'm running and running, out of breath, to avoid the seemingly unavoidable overtake of this darkness. It's exhausting. 

        But, wait. Then I make time for the gospel. I bring it back to the top priority. I study my scriptures first, I pray sincerely, I act immediately on spiritual promptings, and my vision changes. I'm no longer running away from darkness, I'm running towards my Savior. The visual is brightness. The feeling is joyful anticipation. I'm giddy. Energy isn't even a question because I'm so focused on getting to the One who makes me whole, I don't even notice that I'm running. 

       Today in my study I read, Mosiah 27:29 "My soul hath been redeemed from the gall of bitterness and bonds of iniquity, I was in the darkest abyss, but now I behold the marvelous light of God." 

        I know that as I strive to put God first life becomes a joy. My perspective shifts dramatically and I am able to accomplish more than I ever believed possible.

Find rest in God. Keep your priorities straight. Remember that you aren't running from Satan but running towards Christ. I love you and appreciate you! Happy Sunday!