Together or Alone- I'm Going.

The dilemma.
        It was time for one of the most challenging finals of her entire college career. This teacher was infamous for writing test with questions covering things down to the minutest details of the droning lectures they had given several weeks prior. Everyone was divided into study groups for preparation.
        They sat gray faced in the library sharing notes and trying to makes sense of the complex material. As things were finally picking up, in walked Mr. Skip In His Step to save the day. He strutted up to the table and threw his backpack down. A dramatic unzipping and slow motion reach in followed. Out came the test that everyone was so furiously studying for. Was anyone else shocked? No one else seemed to feel anything other than utter relief.
*Pause Story*
       What now? We all know that the right answer is to refrain from cheating. Is it that simple though?

 

      I made this visual to help us get the idea of what needs to be considered. You stay and study with the test, you get a great grade, succeed with your classmates, remain comfortable in the class.  Negative to using the test, you feel bad, are being dishonest, lose the companionship of the Holy Ghost, run the chance of getting caught. Positivity to obedience, keep the Holy Ghost with you, follow the commandments, remain with good integrity. What about that last box? I think that this is the box that is all too often more powerful than it ought to be. The negative to obedience in this situation would be loss of camaraderie and likely friendships, potentially failing the test, hours studying that you could cut out, etc. 

       Are you ready for the cost of discipleship? Have you made the resolve that nothing  matters more than the eternal salvation that comes from always choosing obedience? 

        This week I read Jarom. A teeny tiny book in the Book of Mormon. Just one chapter. Jarom starts out by saying, "What could I write more than my fathers have written? For have they revealed the plan of salvation? I say unto, Yea; and this sufficeth me." He's saying that nothing else needs to be written or said, as long as God's plan for us has been mentioned. We know where we came from, we know why we're here, and we know where we're going. Do we really need a 'break-it-down-box' to help us make our decisions? Shouldn't we already know that obedience might often be the unpopular choice but will always have eternal benefits and sin will only bring temporary satisfaction and eternal consequences. 

       Luke 9:62, "And Jesus said unto him, No man having put this hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God."  Understanding and accepting the cost of discipleship is the first step to becoming the kind of person that God intends on us being. He will make it worth it. We might not have popularity, riches, or the other benefits from living a worldly life, but that leaves us in good company. (Jesus Christ, Joseph Smith, etc.)

        I am trying harder to remember that I have already committed my life to Him. I promised that to Him when I was eight years old, and then I recommit every single Sunday. Now if only I could follow through with that more gracefully....

      Christ is there to pick us up when we fall, He's there to give us another opportunity to choose the right. The Holy Ghost is there to help us remember. The scriptures are there to give us evidence and courage. There are so many safe holds in the gospel. We were meant to succeed! Let's make it easier on each other and personally resolve to be true disciples. 

      

      

STROKE-5 Years Later

       

       No work, so I got to sleep in. Ahh. This was gonna be the best day ever. Sun was breaking through the window. Not a care in the world.
        I heard Mom's cell phone ring two rooms over. Nothing peculiar, the woman is so popular. She starts getting phone calls at 8am and it doesn't stop ringing til 8pm. What was strange was this feeling I got. It was like a single butterfly was trying to wake up all his friends in my stomach. Had to shake it off, so I decided to get up. I knelt to pray and felt a calm wash over me and heard a whisper say, "Everything will be fine."
         Within seconds Mom came in. Wild-eyed but relatively calm. She said, "I think Charlie had a stroke. They have her at the hospital (in Logan) and have decided to life flight her to the U. I don't think things are looking good..." She was on her way out the door, and requested that I go get my siblings from school. We would wait for further instruction, but she wanted us ready to head up.
       Those few hours of not knowing anything wore heavily on my siblings. I remember trying to tell them the feelings I had experienced earlier but in crisis mode, it's hard to take other peoples premonitions too seriously.
       Long story short, by an incredible miracle Charlie survived. The first night we saw her was heart-breaking almost as much as it was a relief. She went from being the leader of the pack to this helpless girl. She couldn't talk, eat, remember certain things, walk, etc. Was this our new life?
        Today is the 5 year anniversary of the stroke. Not only has Charlie shown that she can't be held down, but God has proven His words. Things were okay that day, and things have continued to get better. The stroke taught me to be worthy of the whispering of the spirit, hold my family close, and remain positive.
       Sure glad you made it through, Char. Things might not be the same as they were before, but the stroke brought a lot of positivity. I'd even go so far as to say life is better because of it.

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

        I don't think I could fall asleep without praying. It's been a habit for as long as I can remember. Not even one memory of ending my day without at least saying a quick something to my Heavenly Father occurs. Not only that, but my morning's begin with a prayer. In addition, more often than not, I don't listen to music if I'm in my car alone--I like that chance it gives me to talk to my Father in Heaven.
       With that being said, I have to be honest and say, sometimes I still feel disconnected. I feel like I'm talking to my walls instead of Him. Or maybe I'm talking, He's listening, but surely isn't understanding.
       We're taught that good communication is the way to success and effectivity in life. Want your marriage to last? Learn how to communicate. Want to make friends? Learn how to communicate. Want to get backing on a business venture? Learn how to communicate your ideas.
        Obviously we know that there is more to it than just speaking. Face the person who is speaking, give physical feedback, respond with related responses, maintain eye contact...you know the drill. So how interesting that the most important communication of our existence contains nothing more than us speaking or simply thinking. He hears us? He gets us?
         As I was reading in my Book of Mormon this week I came across this particular scripture that redirected my thoughts. 2Nephi 32:3, "Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, they speak the words of Christ, Wherefore I say unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do."
       How can I doubt for one single minute that He hears me? My conversations, the feelings I get when I pray, and most of all the scriptures I read all are concrete evidence that He is not only listening to me, but responding. Coincidence that the week I'm asking Him about how to make my prayers more effective that I happen to read, "Ye must pray always and not faint." (2Ne. 32:9), or "And I know that the Lord God will consecrate my prayers for the gain of my people." (2Ne 32:4)? Not happenstance but His way of showing me that He knows what's on my mind and IS responding. Am I listening? Am I actively and genuinely communicating to Him? Am I making myself available to Him? Or the question that's touching my heart the most, am I allowing other people to act as my angels?
       In my Patriarchal Blessing I am told, "You are indeed separated from your Heavenly Father on this earth, but only to an extent." it later continues, "...counsel with those around you, for they will never lead you astray." He knows that my heart longs to share the most direction and personal relationship with Him. Because that is not possible at this point in the eternal process He has sent me angels to look me in the eyes and say what I need to hear. He than confirms it with a feeling in my heart.
       I know that He loves me. He loves you too. He is always listening, and He always cares. Look for the evidence. I think you'll be astounded.
                 

Who Will Go With Me?

        When I've read in 2 Nephi before I tended to simply read, at best. Deep study and analyzing was kind of overlooked. A lot of Isaiah scriptures are repeated which tends to be more complicated and time consuming. This time however, I promised myself to not let that be the case. I've found so many treasures, and felt my spirituality increase immensely. There is no  wasted effort in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

        The scripture I want to highlight this week is found in 2 Nephi 16:8-11. (Compare to Isaiah 6) "...I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then I said: Here am I; send me." (I connected that with 1 Nephi 3:7) It continues, "And he said: Go and tell this people--Hear ye indeed...Make the heart of this people fat, and make their ears heavy, and shut their eyes--lest they see with their eyes. and hear with their ears, and understand with their heart, and be converted and be healed." Beautiful call to be missionaries. To serve, to teach, to lead.
        "Then said I: Lord, how long? And he said: Until the cities be wasted without inhabitant, and the houses without man, and the land be utterly desolate.." Not a call for 2 years but for forever!

       How beautiful! I cannot read those scriptures without feeling a personal call to become a life long disciple of Jesus Christ. He's not just asking you to complete with a totem pole of callings until you reach salvation. Just because you have been a missionary, relief society president, or even stake president-- that does not mean you have qualified for the kingdom of God. It does not mean you have completed your tasks upon the earth. We are called to be His servants, His mouth piece, until there is no one left upon the earth, and the land is gone.
 
        I'm reminded of a commonly read and recited scripture in D&C 4. The entire chapter is so filling for our spirits, but I want to highlight verses two and three. "Therefore, O ye that embark in the service of God, see that ye serve him with all your heart, might, mind, and strength, that ye may stand blameless before God at the last day. Therefore, if ye have desires to serve God ye are called to the work.."

     A common phrase, serve God with your heart, your might, your mind, and strength. These are the description I found while studying and identifying the four individual different parts:
       
    "Heart. The term heart denotes one's character or disposition; it is the governing attitude and feeling of a person. This character or disposition is formed as the individual expresses life in the form of choices. Making choices, in the sense of making commitments, is a function of the heart. The heart constitutes the decision-making center." I add the sincere love for doing the Lords work. To be His disciple happily and gratefully.

    Next, "Mind. The mind is a system of attracting, organizing, and implementing knowledge or information for use by the heart. It is man's capacity to become aware of things as they are, as they have been or as they will be. The mind, as a capacity, is a tool subject to the management and leadership of the heart. Apparently, it is possible for an individual to choose to relinquish the management and leadership of their mind to another personality but it is not possible to transfer the responsibility for the consequences of that choice."

   The two that seemed to intertwined for me were might and strength. What is the difference? How can I make sure I am accomplishing both? Here are the definitions I have found to this point, "Might. Might refers to the resources--both temporal and spiritual, internal and external- -that are legitimately accessible to a person. Might describes all the resources that an individual commands or controls that are at his or her disposal. It includes the moral influences and other forces or materials that are under his or her dominion."   and then strength, "Strength. Strength refers to the physical properties associated with an individual's body that are sources of power. These include generative powers in the form of muscle, bone, and tissue; regenerative powers in the form of bodily systems such as the circulatory, respiratory, digestive, neural, and glandular; and procreative powers, i. e., sexual reproductive powers."
(Definitions found here:https://ojs.lib.byu.edu/spc/index.php/DLLS/article/viewFile/31139/29598)

        It through better understanding what the Lord requires, and how to commit myself to Him that I am able to become what He requires of me. I WILL go where the Lord asks me to go. He has already asked us each "Who shall I send" you and I both responded "Here am I send me." Have we followed through with our creator?

       The way to God is clear, Endure to the end. As Moroni instructs, (Moroni 10:32) "Deny yourselves of all ungodliness" By giving Him our hearts, our might, our minds, and our strength, we will be able to become like Him. I love Him.

      The gospel is good, it is true, and it is salvation. It is also joy. Each time I have followed throught with my end of the deal my life becomes better than I could have ever imagined. I have the sense of being whole, happy, and at peace. I want to feel that way always! Now off to accomplish the seemingly impossible!!! (Philippians 4:13)

PS-I had finished Genesis today. It is SO GOOD!!! I encourage you to give it another read!

Then Sings My Soul

     

         It was a quiet storm. We didn't talk about the personal issues because they just seemed to stir up more problems. We knew that the other one was hurting, and that seemed to be enough. However the way he walked out that day told me it was time to open our communication. I felt slight annoyance but this sense of urgency pushing me to call him right then and there.
     He answered my phone call. That came as a surprise. He sounded as though he had been crying. Rarely if ever had I seem him cry--another surprise. He quickly said that his intention wasn't to hurt me or anyone or anyone else but he just couldn't do it anymore. Suicide? He could not be alluding that, could he?
    I told him I was coming over. He said, painfully, that I didn't know where he lived anymore. He was right. I lied. "Yeah I do." I concluded, "I'm on my way." I called up the five most important people in my life, which conveniently were the most important in his as well. We met in a matter of minutes and then the few of them that had been to his apartment led us there.
     As we approached the door I felt panic wash over me. What kind of scene had I just led them to. Was this safe? Were we in danger? Whatever was beyond that door was going to change our lives.

       We knocked. No one answered. The door was unlocked. Slowly I opened it and let him know we were there. First sight was bloody tissues on the table, a gun, and a note. Before I had to process all that was going on he came out from his bedroom. He looked unharmed. He sat and started apologizing profusely. Tears poured down all of our faces. Silence followed.
     I prayed and prayed until the spirit whispered to begin singing, I Know That My Redeemer Lives. Sheepishly I began, "I know that my reedemer lives." No one joined, no one moved. "What comfort this sweet sentence gives." Tears continued to roll down my face. "He lives, He lives who once was dead, He lives, my ever-living head." And then as if a choir of angels joined in we all sang together. Verse after verse. And then hymn after hymn. Peace filled the room. The Spirit testified of God's love.
       We got to a point where there was so much hope in the room we could begin speaking openly and with the spirit. He was given a blessing and healing began to take place.

        This week in my studies I read, "For the Lord shall comfort Zion, he will comfort all her waste places; and he will make her wilderness like Eden, and her desert like the garden of the Lord. Joy and gladness shall be found therein, thanksgiving and the voice of melody." (2Ne.8:3) "Remember, to be carnally-minded is death, and to be spiritually-minded is life eternal." (2Ne.9:39)

        I'm reminded of a favorite five verses of mine from the Old Testament. Elijah is running away from his home, his life is being sought, and he has been fighting for righteousness for quite sometime. We enter the story in 1Kings 19:4,

"But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said It is enough; now O LORD, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers. And as he lay and slept under a juniper tree behold, then an angel touched him and said unto him, Arise and eat. And he looked, and behold there was a cake baken on the coals, and a cruse of water at his head. And he did eat and drink, and laid him down again. And the angel of the LORD came again the second time, and touched him, and said, Arise and eat; because the journey is too great for thee. And he arouse, and did eat and drink and went in the strength of that meat..."  

      Life is hard. Succeeding through human nature is impossible. We are powerfully reminded of that in these verses, "the journey is too great for thee". We must arise and eat. We must be reading our scriptures, saying our prayers, keeping the commandments and building a relationship with Jesus Christ. It is through that power that this life journey become joyous. It is through taking an active part of the gospel of Jesus Christ, we are guaranteed success.

       It is all thanks to the love of God, scripture study, and the atonement of Jesus Christ that I see my life's wildernesses and deserts become Eden, a garden of the Lord. I'm grateful for the scriptures to give me such fulfilling instruction and brightness of hope. I'm grateful for the experiences God gives me, hard and joyful, they lead me to Him, every.time.

I Could Build a Ship

     

      If 1 Nephi 17 was the only chapter given to us out of the Book of Mormon, that would be sufficiently powerful to convince my heart of the truthfulness of this sacred book. The inspiration and instruction found in those 55 versus left me feeling like I would never be the same.

 Instead of a traditional blog post I will just reviewing and highlighting a few of the things that empowered me today.

     The chapter starts out with Nephi reminding us that him and his family have been wandering in the wilderness for eight entire years now. The women have borne children and they have experienced afflictions of every kind. Yet Nephi, of all things to mention, says, "And so great were the blessing of the Lord upon us, that while we did live upon raw meat in the wilderness, our women did give plenty of suck for their children, and were strong."
    
   Sure after bug bites, blistered feet, losing all possessions, cold nights, hot days, and limited social contacts, clearly, you've been super blessed. What?! What would I give to have to perception and gratitude of Nephi. He remembered all that the Lord has done for him. It wasn't that God had gave them this awful life and then expected worship. Rather, Nephi understood that God had saved that from imminent destruction, he gave them a promised future with a promised land, and a legacy that would forever change the world. I have a feeling that even if the women weren't able to "give suck to their children", Nephi would have still felt gratitude. 

    Continuing on, (We still are on verse 2....), the family is finally out of the thick of trees and reaches a body of water. At one particular point Nephi hears a whispering telling him, "Arise, and get thee into the mountain..."

     [Ever heard the temple be called the mountain of the Lord? Ever feel like you should go? Did you respond in the positive and do so quickly? How relatable is Nephi's call to come!] 

   Nephi goes and receives instruction that he is to build a ship to carry him and his family across the water. His response is, "Lord, whiter shall I go that I may find ore to molten that I may make tools to construct the ship after the manner which thou hast shown unto me?" 

       I remember being asked by the Lord to do particular things in my life. Go on a mission, go to college, be the relief society president, or even reach out and form a friendship with someone. Each of these experiences ended up becoming the most powerful and amazing opportunities I've ever been give, yet I unfortunately cannot say that my response was, "For sure Heavenly Father, how do you want me to go about it." Rather, I doubted complained, and feared. This is not said to deprecate myself but relate to what I see as a commonality in many of us. What if instead of freaking out we just said, "I'll do it."? How many more life changing and character making experiences would we be given? Nephi rocks.

   1 Nephi 17:17 "And when my brethren saw that I was about to build a ship they began to murmur against me, saying: Our brother is a fool, for he thinketh that he can build a ship; yea, and he also thinketh that he can cross these great waters." 

     As Nephi demonstrates faith in the commandments he has been given, his brothers choose to ridicule and mock. I could write a whole entire blog dedicated to a horrible habit so many of us have of bringing people down to a place where they don't push us to be better or have any qualities that we are intimidated by... 

    This triggers something is Nephi. Instead of discouragement, his testimony fires up and reproaches his brothers. He starts by reminding them of the story of Moses. He asks, if God could save an entire people for the hand of the Egyptians why could he not build a boat? How about us? If God can save an entire people why can't He give us the power to do amazing things with our lives?! It is up to our faith. 

    Nephi reminds us in verse 41, continuing to discus the Israelites leaving Egypt, "He (God) sent fiery serpents among them and after they were bitten he prepared a way that they might be healed..." He allows us to get bitten but by putting forth even just a little bit of effort we can, and will be healed.

     We than come to verses that ought to shake us to the very core. He calls out his brothers, (vs 15) "Ye are swift to do iniquity but slow to remember that Lord your God." He reminds them that they have seen angels, they have heard the voice of God from time to time, but that they "were past hearing".

    WAKE UP. That is the risk we all take when choosing to refrain from doing daily scripture study, daily prayer, or any of the other commandments and suggestions of modern day prophets. Are you choosing to listen to the spirit? Is that your first priority? What is interfering with that?

   This verse was written for us individually, (vs46) "And ye also know that by the power of his almighty word he can cause the earth that it shall pass away; yea, and ye know that by his word he can cause the rough places to be made smooth and smooth places shall be broken up. O, then how is it that ye can be so hard in your hearts?"

   But the verse most powerful to me is number 50-51, "...If God had commanded me to do all things I could do them. If he should command me that I should say unto this water, be thou earth, it should be earth; and if I should say it, it would be done. And now, if the Lord has such great power, and has wrought so many miracles among the children of men, how is it that he cannot instruct me, that I should build a ship?"

You can do all thing is God and Jesus Christ.

   This chapter is more full than I would ever have energy to write in a blog. I know that this book is true. I know that this single chapter holds so much truth and instruction I will be able to return to it time and time again and that it will always lead to progress.

Nephi, you're the man.

Any insights you love?