Arise and Eat

  I've thought about this story time and time again, and think there are crucial lessons to learn. Here we have Elijah, a prophet of great reputation, at his lowest. As he is running away from severe danger he finds himself exhausted. The kind of exhaustion that is all encompassing. This amazing, chosen, man went as far as he could before stopping and telling the Lord he wished to 'throw in the towel'.

1 Kings 19:4-8

4 ¶But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers.

I wish to highlight the fact that this was a righteous and good man. He was constantly doing the Lord's work and yet, times got really, really hard. Depression, discouragement, and even despair are real--even within correct living. 

     This next part in what gets me though...

 5 And as he lay and slept under a juniper tree, behold, then an angel touched him, and said unto him, Arise and eat.

 6 And he looked, and, behold, there was a cake baken on the coals, and a cruse of water at his head. And he did eat and drink, and laid him down again.

 7 And the angel of the Lord came again the second time, and touched him, and said, Arise and eat; because the journey is too great for thee.

 8 And he arose, and did eat and drink, and went in the strength of that meat forty days and forty nights

    That's it! That's so incredibly profound and reassuring. Did you catch it?! 

The aid in his lowest moments was an angel sent to give him something to eat. At first Elijah didn't get it. He ate and went back to where he was previously. The second time the angel makes himself more clear. He explains the importance of this nourishment. He tells him that the journey is in fact too difficult. This food was the way, the answer. 
    It provides so much clarity to why we must feast upon the words of Christ ourselves. 2nd Nephi 32: 3 Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, they speak the words of Christ. Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do.
     The reality is life is hard. WAY hard at times. Inside the church we have a quote that I often hear it's, "God will never give you anything you can't handle." I'd like to clarify. God doesn't give anything we can't handle IF we use the tools He's provided. Alone, I think it absolutely is too difficult at times. We have the resources though. He have the answers and the way. Prayer, service, attending both our church meetings and the temple, but specifically we have the word of God. I repeat from the scripture in 2Nephi, they tell us ALL THINGS what we should do. 
      I know that with God on our side anything is possible. It is thanks to the scriptures that I have confidence to take any step I take, no matter how terrifying to difficult it might be. 
   ARISE AND EAT, the journey is too hard if you don't. Save yourself the heartache and find the most constant unfailing companion. Therein lies joy.

    I love you and know that we've got this! One foot in front of the other. (That's how this tale of Elijah ends... he MOVES. He goes! So can we.) 

My Greatest Link To My Past and Brightest Hope For My Future

     I woke up today with a powerful gratitude for these lovely faces pictured above, so I threw together a poem for them. LOVE YOU GUYS!!!! 

       I'm in a special stage of life, 

       everyone keeps telling me. 

Decisions are mine for the making 

and big opportunities are mine for the taking. 

It's when I get to find myself

and be free from any ties.

I get to meet a ton of new friends

and search for a man through my "future husband lens."

It's time do just what I want

and go just where I please

But it seems to me that all I want

can sometimes feel like a cruel taunt.

My friends are all getting married

in fact most girls have their first baby.

It often feels like I'm behind

and a constant friend is hard to find. 

So I sit a pout that life moves on

and wish that I could just rewind

then I realize who's still here

this new outlook settles all my fears.

They're the ones that know me best

That love me through and through

I never really realized 

because world sure had me hypnotized.

Friends are crucial 

I could never deny it,

I have love for each girl and boy

But family has become my number one joy.

They live next door

and coast to coast

from babyhood 'til now

we're together for eternity, we each have made that vow.

I know it might sound so cliche

but my family is the best

I ALWAYS know I can count on them

I finally found God's greatest gem.

I know that life will always change

and my future could take wild turns

but I sleep easy knowing that 

my best friends stand pat.

I thank God for all of you

and know I'm never alone

you each have shown me so much love

it's something I stand in awe of.

I love you 'til the end of time

and then a little longer

my dear family I'm SO happy

this new outlook has finally found me.

I hear you.

     

         It was my freshman year of college and I was ready to live it up. My social standing was at an all time importance to me. I'd stay up all hours of the night doing whatever weird activity was going on. We had an "open door" policy in our apartment, meaning the front door was wide open anytime we were awake. New friends constantly were being made, always laughing, always go-go-going.
        Our first fast Sunday came and I sat there in the middle of our "cool kids row", when suddenly I felt the strong impression to go up and share my testimony. It was at least 20 minutes into the testimony segment of the meeting and not one person in my row had gone up. I felt anxious and nervous. I battled within myself for quite sometime until the time expired. I felt slightly guilty for not heeding the prompting but ultimately figured it probably saved me from some form of social suicide.
       To my great dismay this same feeling returned to me month after month until I had finally found the way to just shut the spirit up. I sat "in peace"  during the rest of the fast and testimony meetings. I was so glad I wasn't going to be caught up there like one of those weirdos blubbering about something we didn't really listen to. Cool kids didn't talk in church, hardly attend their meetings, and most definitely didn't go to church to learn. I was cool.
       Towards the end of my time there my very favorite roommate decided that she wanted to make a grand change in her life. It was remarkable to watch her begin to take interest in the things of the gospel. She'd ask me about the Book of Mormon, how to be able to enter the temple, what the word of wisdom and law of chastity meant to me, etc. As I saw light enter her eyes I remembered my own testimony. I thought that it'd be a beautiful thing to share my testimony the last Sunday in the ward. Of course my last Sunday didn't fall on a fast and testimony meeting, so I arranged a musical number so I could share my testimony in a  more comfortable way for me. I dubbed that "good enough" to represent all I had inside. Besides it was the "coolest" way I could think of going about it.
        We got to church that Sunday and as we sat down I glanced over my program and noticed., my name wasn't listed. Instead there wasn't just one choir number but two! What?!! I sat through the meeting sure that they'd correct the mistake at some point. An hour and fifteen minutes later I was still sitting in my same spot. Testimony sick of being held inside of me, feeling utterly looked over. I felt alone. I left the church building and began crying.
       I learned a hard lesson that day. The call to repentance swung down like an ax. I knew suddenly, I had caused my own deafness to the spirit. I had found the way to shut him out. I knew perfectly how to ignore him and only call on the gospel in times of my need and convenience. However even that had begun to feel ineffective.. Whatever great things God had in mind for me that year I had decided to opt out of and do my own thing. The tragedy was I had nothing to show for my own sorry efforts. I had lost myself, Him, and direction.

          Part two of this long tale begins with me being set apart to go on my mission. I was ready for some crazy change where all of a sudden the voice of the Lord would literally speak to me in an audible voice. At first I was troubled because it wasn't so. I felt as if this was maybe a fantasy of people that wanted to believe so badly, they convinced themselves their thoughts were something from on high. I struggled with this disillusion until I heard a quote from Elder Bednar stating to "stop worrying about whether it's you or the spirit and just do good".
        That worked for me, so anything that felt good and right to me, I did. (even if I figured I was coming up with it.) However gradually I began to see that my thought were no longer my own. Ideas would come to mind that I would have never thought up. Strange coincidences started occurring. I would know exactly what to say, where to go, and what to do. My accomplishments were greatly surpassing my own ability and intelligence. I understood for the first time, the voice of the spirit was finally heard in the way I had so so desired.  I had completely stop caring what kind of impression I was making on those around me and was solely focused on heeding the impressions I received.
       That may be the most treasured truth I own. The key to all success, confidence, joy, and truth lies within the spirit. Go with your good instincts. The Lord will see that you are open and available to promptings and use that as a powerful avenue to guide. Never never go against what your heart tells you, that only creates distance and makes it harder to hear his voice. The world is already much too boisterous. Tune in, and follow your heart.
      Oh and remember we're meant to be a "peculiar people". That's what cool is. 

1Peter 2:9 But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light.

Time To Check It Off The List

       

      I'm one of those people who believes in bucket lists. I think they're fun, inspire goals and adventure, and above all they fill your life with excitement. My list isn't too extensive, like some peoples 1000 things to do before they die. I've got plenty of goals though. Each one takes preparation, and some really hard work. That's what's good though, your bucket list should push you to grow.
       Today I take off on an adventure in which one of my bucket items will be crossed off. I couldn't be more TERRIFIED! I'm heading to St. George to spend some quality time with friends, watch some good movies, be by the pool, get some shopping in, but that main activity will be hiking Angels Landing.

Doesn't it look daunting?!

      Here's the deal, everyone is telling me, "Thousands before you have done it!" " I knew an 8 year old with disabilities that did it just fine." or "It's not as bad as you think." As much as I wish those words were consoling I don't seem to be pacified by them at all.Guys, hiking the Y makes me think I'm dying. This is like hiking the Y five times in a row!! (Well, with a much prettier hike/view for sure.) I literally woke up last night with a killer stomach ache 'cause I'm SO nervous. 

       I remind myself however, I'm going with great, patient friends. When doing hard things you just need to take your time, take a breath, and take a step forward. Can you imagine what a champion I'll feel like once I've conquered this literal mountain?! Fear and insecurities do not get to dictate my life, and I'm going to prove that all the way up Angels Landing. 

       So wish me luck, say LOTS of prayers for me, and go do something that you don't think you can do. We're stronger than we think!!! 

Coincidence?

       

        The other day I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine about divine intervention vs coincidence. I am of the opinion that God is highly involved and laces our entire path with people we need to know, things we need to learn, and obstacles we need to grow from. My friend didn't quite agree, in fact he scuffed, "So if you get a front row parking spot God arranged that?" Well ya know, sometimes when it's been a bad day, you're in a hurry, and have to get that candy bar you promised a student, I think yeah; He helps out. 

       As I left and have further reflected on that conversation I found undeniable evidence in my life. The most common form of divine intervention I can see is the gift of new relationships.

        Since I've returned home from my mission I haven't done nearly enough reaching out. I'm so happy with the relationships I already have. I'm not attending school just yet, go to a singles ward that basically contains all my high school peers, and live at home. Needless to say my social circle is comfortable and well established. 

       This is a good thing, I really do find comfort in it. Yet, as I've prayed for growth and direction I've found that God has placed new remarkable people in my life in addition to allowing me to nurture the older friendships as well.There is something empowering within strong, caring relationships. I can see that God intends to speak to me by who He's placed in my life.  I could go on for hours and hours talking about each close friend of mine and how they teach me and help me be who I need to be.

       Today however, I want to highlight three new friendships. My heart is just overflowing with gratitude for these three ladies, and this is a small way I can give tribute to them. I thank Heavenly Father for helping me continue to get to know amazing people.

       First let's talk about Jenna Thrope:

      This friendship all started with a picture of her in a cat costume. :) I served in Argentina with her wonderful boyfriend. Most every time I'd go to the mission office I'd pull out the pictures he had in his desk and Jenna's was always right on top. Once I came home my friendship with Josh continued. By the time I was home Josh had won over Jenna and they were a package deal.

      Instead of Jenna being territorial or uninterested in "Josh's mission friends" she became a companion to me. She's and I are usually the only girls in a huge group of guys and I couldn't be more grateful to have such a sweet side kick. I know I can always count on her to make me feel included and safe. 

       Something I love about Jenna is that she has a love for the gospel of Jesus Christ that shines through her. She made institute a priority in my life and continues to show me just how much we can trust Heavenly Father. I think that because of her shining testimony her understanding of the spirit has been made impeccable.

        A few weeks ago I was having a rough night.  I was feeling lonely and just bummed when a knock came to my door. Jenna!!! After driving around for forever trying to remember where I live, she had come to deliver me a delicious home made loaf of bread. She is full of compassion and extremely thoughtful. I love you Jenna, thank you for making me a better person, and thank you for being my side-kick!

Second up Kristin Braithwaite:

         I don't even know how to begin the tribute to Kristin. She and I worked together this last year at PG Jr. High. Immediately I was drawn in by her teaching style. She teaches to change lives and empower with knowledge. The students in her room are engaged in what's going on to the point where they don't even bother pulling out their call phones. However, that's also because she cares enough about them to give them clear limits and rules that she actually implements. 

       Something so cool about Kristin is that she has this gift where she's able to make everybody around her feel like they're her number one. I saw it time and time again with the kids. They felt like they mattered to her, which caused them to excel. Not only the students though, the other co workers flocked to her too, and even I found myself receiving so much validation and confidence from the friendship she offers. She changed my desire to magnify my job and be the best person I could be. 

        It's thanks to who she is that I have found a new confidence to go change the world. Nothing about his woman is mediocre and nothing could stop her force. She inspires grit, knowledge, personality, and dreaming. I am honored to know her and so grateful to know there are still heroes out in the world. I love you Kristin!

       Third is Laura Titensor:

       Super mom, iron woman, housewife, and BFF; these are seriously only a few of the titles this woman possesses. Laura is someone who is so extremely active and full of life! I watch her juggle being a mom and wife, as well as a committed visiting teacher, plus a friend, and a million other things, with such grace and enthusiasm. I think the coolest thing about that is, each senses that importance it carries in her life. She makes time for everything and is able to dedicate her energy and time to all.

       Something else that Laura has done for me is push me to reach my goals. Although we've known each other for sometime now it's only been lately that our friendship has blossomed. It was while I was praying for someone who could help me be a better version of myself that we became dear friends. It's thanks to her that I attend the temple weekly, or have gone running. She's such an encourager. 

       Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically, Laura is put together. I'm so grateful that I can learn to live a balanced life, full of love through the example of her. Thank you Laura for being a rockstar, I love you, and think the world of you!

      

       God had also given me you! Although I may not have highlighted our friendship specifically, I know God put you in my life for a divine purpose. I love that He's done that for me and that He does it for you too. I love each and everyone of you! May we all strive a little harder to take advantage of the opportunities to know His sons and daughters around us, because who knows the beautiful relationships and unity they could bring! 

Fortune Telling

 I LOVE fortune cookies. 

Well, actually I don't love the cookie.

I get excited to crack it open and see what universe says is coming my way.

The cool thing about these lil guys is it's always something wonderful.

"You will find love in an unexpected place."

"Now is the time to try something new"

"Riches lie in the small things around you."

All encourage hope and positivity.

Today while reading my scriptures I had this same experience. 

The butterflies and the wishful daydreaming took off as I read the words,

  For verily I say unto you, that great things await you.

(Doctrine and Covenants 45:62)

I can't wait to see what the Lord was talking about!

Long Live Literacy

   

 
        Did you ever get asked your first day of a new class to go around the room say your name and your favorite novel? Did you ever feel like an idiot 'cause you couldn't even remember what the last book you read was? I can totally relate. Back in Jr. High I would ask Charlie to read the books out loud to me as we were going to bed, of course I'd proceed to fall asleep before she'd even finish the first page. The only book I actually got into would be Holes by Louis Sachar. I read it and reread it. That however, didn't even cover a book a semester. I was not a reader.
        I'm not exactly sure what changed but, since November I've had reading fever. I wiz through books and thirst for new reads. I've read nonfiction, fiction,church history novels, fantasy, Argentina poetry, classics and continue to build my own personal library. I'm a book worm, and I NEVER saw it coming.
       They say that reading engenders empathy. You're able to explore different cultures, new ways of thinking, and can help you refocus your own personal life. I feel like I have grown mentally, spiritually, and emotionally with the books. It gives me confidence when I conquer a hard read. It makes me feel cultured when I read a classic or a history novel. It makes me excited and creative when I read of adventure. Reading has changed my life.
       This week I was able to finish the best book I've ever read. Now this is one I've read a couple times now, so technically I refinish this book. I cannot accurately express the power it contains. I read page after page feeling energized and like the words were mine to keep. It introduced me to my biggest heroes and worst enemies. It showed me how life ought to be lived, and what to avoid. I gained confidence in myself, a better sense of direction, and peace in the turmoil from simply skimming it's pages. This is the best book ever written.
       The following is another review of this AMAZING read:  "There is a book I've read many times, yet each time I read it, I find it engages my interest even more. It is a story of courage, faith, and fortitude, or perseverance, sacrifice, and superhuman accomplishments, of intrigue, of revenge, of disaster, of war, murder, and rapine, of idolatry, of cannibalism, of miracles, visions, and manifestations, of prophecies and their fulfillment.
       I found in it life at its best, and at its worst, in ever-changing patterns.
       It is a fast-moving story of total life, of opposing ideologies, of monarchies, and judgeship, and mobocracies. Class distinction is thee with its ugliness, race prejudice with its hatefulness and multiplicity of creeds with their bitter conflicts.
        Archaeologists may be excited as they read of ruins of ancient cities, highways, and building; and there may yet be hidden buried gold and priceless records.
        Engineers will learn from this great book that those centuries ago, men built buildings, temples, highways with cement, and paved roads that connected city to city and land to land.
        The psychologists may find studies in human behavior, the workings of the human mind, and the rationalizing processes whereby men convince themselves that good is badm and that bad is good. Here they will watch history unfold for thousands of years government leaders, kinds, presidents and premiers o see the rise and fall of empires and the difference between statemanship and demogoguery.
       It is the word of God. It is a powerful second witness of Christ, And, certainly, all true believers who love the Redeemer will welcome additional evidence of His divinity.
       This inspiring book was never tampered with by unauthorized translators or biased theologians but comes to the world pure and direct from the historian abridgers. The book is not on trial-- its readers are.
       Here is a scripture as old as creation and as new and vibrant as tomorrow, bridging time and eternity. It is a book of revelation and is a companion to the Bible.....and agrees in surprising harmony with the Bible in tradition, history, doctrine, and prophecy....
       In the final chapter of the book is the never-failing promise that every person who will read the book with a sincere, prayerful desire to know of its divinity shall have the assurance of its truth.
       The book of which I speak is the keystone of true religion, a ladder by which one may get near to God by abiding its precepts. IT has been named "the most correct of any book on earth."
       My beloved friends, I give to you, the Book of Mormon. May you read it prayerfully, study it carefully, and receive for yourself the testimony of its divinity."
                                                                                    -Spencer W. Kimball

     

        I testify that the Book of Mormon is true. It's not "boring ol' scripture", but life changing inspiration. The words of God have been written and they're available for all of us to read. I am better because of this book. I am sure because of this book. Please please please dive on in. Whether it's for your first or fiftieth time you will love it. I know it contains the truth and I'm SO excited for you to receive that certainty as well.  

LONG LIVE LITERACY.

Lucky Numbers

   Wouldn't this be a good day for a wedding? May 5th. 
Why? Well, it all comes down to my lucky numbers. Three and Five. (I also kinda like eight and kinda thirteen but just not as much.) So I got really lucky 'cause my birthday is March 3rd. 3/3. Because of that I've always wanted to be married May, 5th. 5/5. 
         Dang. Looks like I missed it this year.
                                  ..........There is always next year right?
  Plus 5/5/15 is pretty cool. AND temples aren't open on Monday, so that wouldn't have worked anyways. 

The good news is I can still celebrate cinco de mayo today.
 Who wants to go get some Cafe Rio?

BOO!!!

       As our chat was coming to a close my Aunt casually used a beloved Eleanor Roosevelt quote that changed my mind-set. "Do one thing every day that scares you." *Click*. I knew what I had to do.

Monday: It was time to pull down the old bike and go for a spin. That wasn't enough though. I called my dear friend who is SUPER fit, and loves to ride. I always wanted to go with him but our levels of fitness are so different it was always too intimidating. I picked up the phone, called him, and we went. Guess what the best part was? Although I was SO nervous going into it, it was a blast and now I've gone on several more rides! Scary?! Not as bad now!

Tuesday: I've always wanted to teach at the MTC. I love teaching, I love the gospel, I LOVE the MTC. It's a match made in heaven. Something that doesn't scare me are interviews. However, that's not how the MTC does it. You go in and teach. Logically, I guess. I didn't make sense. I was became petrified. I just about talked myself out of applying, but then these words rung in my head. 

           I have two amazing friends that carefully helped me prepare and make me feel the confidence I needed to go through with it. Off  I went and taught a empowering lesson, had my Spanish tested, and more than anything proved to myself I could do it! The happy ending is that I've been asked to come in for a second interview!! (PS- To clarify with my summer job boss, this wouldn't take start 'till August, don't worry! haha) 

Wednesday: School. It's one of my biggest insecurities. It's not that I'm dumb, it's just that I have a hard time buckling down sometimes. I don't know what I want to study. I HATE when the parking lot is full and I'm late to class. I hate when I study really hard and still don't know that answers to the test. School REALLY scares me. 

       This year I have had the privilege of working at PG Jr. High. There I have learned how important good study habits are. I've learned the importance of education. I've learned that we can do really hard things. The most important thing I've learned though, might be that I love learning. There is something so powerful about understand our world better. There is something SO confidence inspiring when you feel like you 'get-it'. 

      Off I went to UVU to get everything sorted out and get back on the road to higher education. There were several road blocks presented but, I am going to do it! I'm now re-enrolled and one step closer. It's still harder than I thought it'd be to get all sorted out but I'm not letting fear or anything else hold me back from what I want and need to do. 

Thursday: I am so non-confrontational. Sometimes I let people take advantage of my fear of having hard conversations. There was a big whale in front of me, that needed to be confronted however. They had been untruthful and as much as I was willing just to let it go and move on, the deceit had created road blocks. I have goals and aspirations that can't be met 'till this fear was hit head on. A hard conversation had to be had. Again, with the help of a friend, I literally practiced the talk, and went for it! Vague, I know. It went well, and even though I haven't quite seen the results I want, it'll come. (PS- This has nothing to do with my love life. Haha) 

      Oh! Also this day, I hiked the Y. That scares me 'cause it's steep. Don't worry, I did it, and even made it all the way to the top. Haha. 

Friday: I use to LOVE performing. I love singing, I love dancing! Then I went on a mission. I didn't have any opportunities to really use these talents. I tried to sing at baptisms or in sacrament meetings but considering I was the only personally that could play the piano that usually it made it tricky. I want to be good again, but it's discouraging to see how much ground I've lost. My range has greatly shrunk and my control is weak. I find myself straining where I use to sing easily and naturally. So annoying! 

      The opportunity came to sing, despite my looking for it.I got a call from one of my church leaders saying that Noelle Pikus Pace, Olympics gold medalist, was coming to do a devotional. This was going to be a wonderful event with up to hundreds of people. The next thing he said was that he'd like me to participate in a musical number with him and a handful of men from the church. I'd be the featured soloist. "Sure, that's be great!" (While actually freaking out inside.)

      We practice and I felt totally mellow about the whole thing, 'till it was time to go up there and do it. With a prayer in my heart we got through. It went really well and has made me want to continue pushing myself to use that talent. I text the music coordinator at my church and will now be singing a challenging solo for mothers day. Baby steps to stardom. (Hahaha, no, I don't want to be a "singer" when I grow up)

Saturday:  My BFF cousins, Ash and Joe, always joke that when I have DTR's it's not "Determine The Relationship" it's "Destroy The Relationship". I've gotten into the habit of just coasting through relationships without ever really knowing what we are or what we're thinking. It's not good. It's easy, but dumb. My goal is to find someone who wants take 'us' seriously. So, after a long "relationship" with this guy I decided it was time to have a talk. Holy cow was I scared!!! I spoke from my heart, and said all that I had always wanted to. 

       Unfortunately Ash and Joe's teasing turned to truth. He wasn't on the same page as me, and it ended up putting a HUGE detour in my plans. It hurt and made me really sad. I was mad that I could have just continued on this ignorant bliss path but no, "I just haaad to face my fears." I almost considered this a failure, but then I realize I was about to embark on something else that scares me, entering the world of dating. The prize at the end is awesome. So I've just got to do it, not matter how scary it is every single day. Being alone scares me but not trying is stupid.  

Sunday: Now this is an almost silly one. I love reading, but I could probably be perfectly content just reading and rereading Holes over and over again. There are all these wonderful books that I want to read but when I see that they're 800 pages long, and that they have a vocabulary that I know will challenge mine I opt out for something less intense. Not today though, nope! I picked it up and started reading. It's been a wonderful read, and I feel smarter. I seriously, actually feel smarter.

       What an amazing challenge. I've continued doing this and although I miss somedays, I know that I'm becoming a stronger person. I'm free because I'm not letting anything hold me back. Now here is an important question, how do we get the courage to do this? The answer I found might seem obvious but it's so real. Faith. Faith in Jesus Christ has given me the motivation to do what I didn't dare to do before. My weaknesses, failures, hurts, and shortcomings are made up through Him. If I try He'll pick up my slack and make it possible. I was never alone during those scary talks, fitness challenges or even during a teaching/job interview. 

        I now have made so many goals that I know  I will accomplish. I'm gonna run so many 5k's this summer, hike so many mountains, form so many new friendships and relationships. I'm going to learn and grow! I feel my confidence really, really blooming. I'm happier, and closer to my Savior everyday I do this. 

President Uchtdorf once said, “There are times when we have to step into the darkness in faith, confident that God will place solid ground beneath our feet once we do. And so I accepted gladly, knowing that God would provide.” 

    To end I post a visual aide I made to show the different levels of faith we're striving to obtain. Pray for more faith, and then get out there and get it!!! There is nothing holding you back that you can't overcome! 

Get it! Get it! 

Good-bye is sometimes a good thing...

   Dear Sweets,

You know I love you, you really do. You know we've shared a lot of really wonderful moments together, thank you. I have to say however, I need a break. I don't want your sugar high or sweet cravings. Nope, no more. Maybe we can talk about getting back together in a month, but I just don't think our relationship will ever be quite the same. I know you'll continue making billions of people around you so so happy. You know, I'll probably even still have you come to my all my birthdays. I love you, but you know what they say, "if you love them let them go". Anyways, I've said enough... 
    Warm regards,
Brittney Nicole Pasquale


  Yep that's right! It's time for another no sweets spree! May 1st has come and I'm SO excited to lay off the goods for a while! Join me if you'd like:) There is TOTALLY strength in numbers!!! 

Doesn't this look yummier anyways?! 

Gimme Some Lovin'

      We walked down the hallway like we do everyday during third period. This cute student of mine prefers to work in the library where there are no distractions. As we pass the other classrooms he always tells me excitedly of his day and the funny things he and his friends have been doing. However, today he was quiet with his eyes down.
 "Hey, you ok?" I asked.
  He nodded.
  I waited 'till we were somewhere I knew he felt safe and pressed again....
  "Are you alright? I'd really like to help if something is bothering you."
  He sheepishly said, "It's a love problem.".
 "Ah I see..."
 "I love her, but she just doesn't love me."

Jr. High love problems? Maybe so. But, can't we all relate?

    My heart ached for this young man. I, like all of you my readers, have felt the strain of unobtainable love. I've had heartbreaks, let downs, and even questioned if there was any love in the whole wide world. It's easy to feel as though, unless you're the most attractive, most clever, or luckiest, love just isn't available for you.
      I feel confident that this isn't just a "Jr High" problem. Look what we have to prove these lamentable feelings of loneliness. The example of Tinder; an app where you get a endless stream of photos to aid you in finding a mate. You can swipe to the right to say you're interested or swipe to the left to give 'em a "No thanks." Shallow? Petty? Maybe so. Yet, it's one of the most downloaded apps. Are we so hungry for love that we turn to these pathetic mediums to find somebody, anybody, willing to express interest in us?
     Now, I understand very well that man was not made to be alone. Yet, I can't help but think that doesn't only mean we're suppose to be in sweet little, facebook official, cutest story ever told, couples. We are here to help each other home. We are here to lift one another's burdens. We are here to be like Christ, and have endless love for one another. 
        That's what my blog thought is today, "Where is the love?". In a book I recently read by Sheri Dew she wrote, we all have to do this journey on our own, but none of us should have to do it alone. Ultimately we are the captains of our fate. Nobody can make our decisions for us, and nobody can change us. However, it is our responsibility to be the support, and help for those all around us. How do we do that? How do we find the energy or patience? The answer is love. 
       1 Cor. 13:4-5  4.Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5. does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,…
      
        Moroni 7:45   45 And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

      What a powerful, POWERFUL tool love is. I can't imagine how the world would change if we'd all try to love and serve each other. Disclaimer, I am NOT saying you need to support somebody in wrong decisions. However I am saying that you don't stop loving them, regardless of what they might be struggling with. 
      President Eyring wrote in conference last October of a young man in prison. His grandmother was overcome with sadness for the circumstances in which that brought. As she began to question "why" she received the answer, "I gave him to you because you could and would love him."
       I have no doubt that that's how it is for each relationship that comes into our lives. I want to make each person feel like their home when they talk to me. I want to make each person feel a taste of God's love for them through my words and deeds. It's my job, and my pleasure. 
      Where is love the? It's burning inside you. I promise you that as you reach out and love more, you will absolutely feel it in return. 1,000 fold! 
      I love you! I reallly, really do.

Double Cut Day

Sometimes 

it's

a

double

paper-cut

kinda

day.

OUCH!

Wait Up!!!

Philippians 4:11-13
11 ... for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. 

     I start with the scripture because this blog post might seem contradictory to the last one I posted. I wish to remind us we're asked to both be hungry and be full. So maybe if we keep that in mind I won't sound so crazy. :)
  For this post we're going back to the mission. We're in Junin, Argentina, about four hours from Buenos Aires. This is my second transfer in this area and I'm with a new companion. She's a great but untrained in missionary work. She's what we call "a mini". She was a member that was willing to devote 6 weeks of her time to help us as we waited for our 'visa waiters' to make it to the country.
    The area had been built up my first six weeks so we had LOTS of work to do. Back to back appointments were set and more plan B's than time permitted.  To help us accomplish the task at hand we were given bicycles! I LOVED my bike,  her name was Luna. My first week with her I was hesitant but quickly came to adore her. (The bike not my companion. I loved my comp from day one! haha)
    So it was a beautiful Thursday around 4:30pm. Siesta was coming to a close to and people were busily scurrying back to work. We too had a boom of activities at this hour of the day. I gave my companion a quick run down of the plans and reminded her of the importance of moving quickly and staying close.
   Off I went. I was a total biker at that point. I could move quickly, I knew the short cuts, I learned how to weave in and out of traffic, point A to point B had become a race against myself. I was enjoying the air in my hair and was excited at the prospect of knocking a couple doors before our appointment, because surely at this rate we'd make it with time to spare.
    I'd check behind, there was my companion slowly following in my tracks. She wasn't exactly my speed but she was in sight and probably sound if I yelled REALLY loud, so I pushed on. We came to the most congested road. I played Frogger through the honking cars, zoomed over the several train tracks and looked back to my companion to see if she noticed how awesome my maneuvers were. I didn't see her. Man. So I figured, "Wait a second, she's probably just behind that car." The car passed. No Hermanita. "Ok.." I thought, "..just wait 2 more minutes..." Nothing. I got off the bike, undid my helmet and start looking through the mass of people to see if she was there. No sign of her. Panic set in. ALONE?! I was alone! SHE was alone. I felt like an idiot. How was I going to call President, or her parents.."You daughter disappeared."              Nearly frantic I walked one block, then two blocks... the whole time praying for her, begging for forgiveness, and asking everybody if they had seen a cute sister missionary in a bright red helmet. Nothing. Finally after the longest 7 minutes of my life I found her walking her bike on the other side of the road.
    I ran to her and gave her the tightest hug my strength would allow. She said she was trying to keep up, and trying to follow my moves through the traffic but a car had cut her off then blocked me from her vision. She thought it was best to get off and walk rather than try to catch up and risk making a wrong turn. At first I thought, "You should have just kept going. I wouldn't have made any turns without making sure you were there. You should have stayed closer. We have too much to do." But then the lesson God was trying to teach set in.
      We have a lot of things to do. Life is go, go, go. Our to-do's are totally worthy, and our efforts totally noble. However, we must remember if our constant companion, the Holy Ghost, isn't able to keep up with us we'll surely arrive to our destination...but alone. And then what's the point? He is willing to be on our right and our left, but if we're careless we will lose him.
       A companion is meant to be your protection and support. You're suppose to have mutual trust and love for one another. Your companion should be your priority. You are responsible for one another. The holy ghost has been given to us as our constant companion and we should be treating him as so.
       So let's be anxiously engaged in a good cause, but not get ahead of ourselves. He has a way of making everything fit into the time he's granted. He's with you, I promise. Just look for him. If you don't see him in your life go search for him. He's trying to find you too.

Dare You To Move

   My schedule preview:

***Changes every single day!***

Day 1:                                                                          

6:30-7:20 Wake Up                                               

                 Get ready

7:20-7:55 Breakfast

                Scripture Study

7:55-8:10 Drive to work

8:15-2:45 Work

                 Try to stay sane J

                  Read

2:45-4:10 Help with Carpool

4:15-5:00 Cocoa run w/ BFF

5:15-6:30 Get some yard work done/ Family time!

7:00-8:15 Teach mission prep

8:20-8:30 Pick up friend

8:30-10:00 Institute

10- 10:30 Visit w/classmates

10:30-11:00 Drop off “Thinking of you” note

11:00-11:30 Pick up room

                       Write in journal

11:30-12 Prep for bed

                 Sleep

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------                   

Day 2:

6:30-7:20 Wake Up                                               

                 Get ready

7:20-7:55 Breakfast

                Scripture Study

7:55-8:10 Drive to work

8:15-2:45 Work

                 Try to stay sane J

                  Read

2:45-4:30 Temple

4:45-6:30 Hike the Y with Mom
6:30-6:45 QUICK shower
7-7:30 Visiting teaching

7:30-8:00 Visit with cousins

8:15-9:00 Taco Tuesday with the boys

9:00-10:30 Visit with someone who needed a pick-me-up

10:30-11:30 Practice song for an upcoming sacrament meeting

11:30-12:00 Pick up a friend that got a flat tire

12:00-12:30 Write in journal

                       Prep for bed

                      Sleep

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Day 3:

6:30-7:20 Wake Up                                               

                 Get ready

7:20-7:55 Breakfast

                Scripture Study

7:55-8:10 Drive to work

8:15-2:45 Work

                 Try to stay sane J

                 Read

3:00-3:45 Practice Piano

4:00-7:00 Rec Center!

                  Racquetball

                  Swim

7:00-7:30 Shower

                 Get ready

7:30-10:30 Date Night

                    Art Projects

                    Puzzles

                  Get to know new people

10:30-11:30 Write a talk for sacrament or my Sunday School lesson

11:30-11:45 Call someone who might just need a quick hello (We're college kids, it's late but ok)

11:45-12:30 Write in journal

                      Prep for bed

                       Sleep

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

      Sometimes I get to bed and wonder how I'm ever going get up again. Sometimes I wake in the morning and wonder how I'm ever going to get up again. Then I remember, I have a life FULL of happiness. I LOVE everything that I get to do! How did I get SO lucky that even after my car gets towed during Taco Tuesday I'm still ending the day happy and feeling fulfilled?!  

      D&C 58:27 Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness...

      We've been given 24 hour every single day of our lives, and it's up to us to fill it with gratifying goodness. We can sit and watch TV or we can go out and visit a friend that feels lonely. We can play video games or we can enjoy a hike through the beautiful mountains that surround us. We can take some time to relax by sitting on our bed or we can take some time to relax by sitting with a long lost friend while drinking hot chocolate. 

      I'm working hard on learning to use my time effectively. There are so many things we want or need to do, ALL are priorities; we just can't figure out how to fit them all in. For me the key is remembering to be selfless, put needs before wants, don't miss a beat, and listen closely to the guidance of Heavenly Father. It's amazing how wonderful it feels to lay down and report to Heavenly Father, "Yes, I have done good in the world today. Yes, I helped someone in need. I tried to cheer up the sad, I saw them become glad. I think you'd be proud of my day." I feel like that motivates Him to give me more days and more cool opportunities! He knows I'll be open to taking advantage of them.  

     I don't have time to idle away looking at pornography or obsessing over celebrity news. I don't have time to be a lazy couch potato or just "dream of my mansion above". But I ALWAYS have time (or can find time) for family, friends, service, or important responsibilities. There really IS enough time, we've just got to organize it! 

       When we're doing His will we can be confident that He will energize us, Matthew 11:28 Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Maybe that doesn't mean we'll get to sleep in the next day but it does mean we will be able to complete all the tasks at hand. What a great promise!!! I could never do it with out Him :) 

   My hope is we can all use our time more effectively so that the unimportant things lose space in our lives and that we can become more focused on doing good, doing His will. It's how we can live a life without a single bad day! (Maybe rough moments, or difficult tasks, but a fully bad day just won't exist!)

      Anyways...you're a priority in my life, I definitely have time for you. So, just let me know ;) 

I love you!!! Have a great, fulfilling day! 

PS: A little motivation <-----click this!!!!! You'll love it!