Freedom!

          "Yeah sure" just kinda slipped out. I would have never agreed had I actually thought about what was being asked of me. At this point in time I was hardly attending Sunday School let alone wanting to teach it. However, I'm not someone to go back on my word so I decided I'd just have to make it work.
         Throughout the week I was consumed by the stress of subbing this gospel doctrine class. Luckily my best friend was a confident teacher and incredibly knowledgeable in the gospel.  She was very kind and agreed to co-teach with me that Sunday.
        We prepared and practiced and finally Sunday came. I was sick to my stomach. As soon as I got in front of the class I froze. It truly was a saving grace having my friend by my side. My stomach ached, my eyes went blurry, my palms were sweaty, and my words were jumbled. I think I said maybe two sentences for the entire hour "we" were teaching.
          After that painful experience I vowed to never teach again.

          Now fast forward four years later. Since then I've served a mission, been called as a gospel doctrine teacher, been asked to teach relief society, give firesides, and put on devotionals. I hadn't considered this amazing change within myself until this week because of how slowly and subtly God had lead me to this point in time.
         This week held a really big landmark for me. I began student teaching as a seminary teacher. Now to be clear, I'm about a year away from actually entering the seminary teaching program so as of now it's just me getting 'wet behind the ears.' It's for me to gain experience teaching in a seminary situation.
          I spent hours preparing, I made all my friends allow me to practice teach them, I got up at 5 am so I could be there on time (I was teaching early morning so that I could get to my job on time.) and I was challenging myself to put together my first ever PowerPoint meant for teaching. To top it off I was asked to teach 2Kings 20-25--those chapters come off as a suuuuper drag until you do some digging.
         Moments before I stepped into the classroom I bowed my head to talk to Heavenly Father. It occured to me--I was a new person. He had taken this pathetic, nervous, and incompetent girl and turned me into someone who is willing to sacrifice anything to teach. Not only that but I can now do so with confidence and excitment; so much so I'm wanting to devote my whole entire life to it.
           We are the clay, He is the potter, and we must allow ourselves to be the works of His hands.

         This week I read in Mosiah 5:8, "And under this head (Jesus Christ) ye are made free..." It is all thanks to my relationship with Jesus Christ and my knowledge that I am God's daughter that I have been able to free myself from my feelings of being an inadequate teacher, or my fear of people seeing how little I feel like I know about the gospel. He has made me free.

Ether 12:27, "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto them their weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me, and have fiath in me then will I make weak things become stron unto them." 

    Include the Savior and your Father in all you're striving to become and I know that mountains will be moved. The most impossible and unlikely changes can happen.

   I love you and I'm excited for us to be more than we think we can be!

He said, "Be Mine"

     

        Stumbling onto her blog was rather happenstance. We had stopped following each other on Facebook a long while back, so I had lost total touch with what was going on in her life. So a few days ago, I began reading with great wonder.
      The back story is a typical high-school love triangle. I loved boy, she loved boy too, boy couldn't decide. We never knew each other as anything other than, the obstacle between "our soulmate". *swoon* Post graduation is when I was finally crowned the winner of this consuming battle. Boy chose me! We were in love. (Well...at least for a time...)
      Now here I am six years later, reading what happened to her since, "I won.". She wrote the most beautiful post detailing how she found her dream man. (Frankly he sounds like the dream man.) They live such a happy and wonderful life. She openly discusses the difficulties of life but above all the many, many blessings that she enjoys; highlighting her husband as the most grand blessing of all.
     It was a mix of giddiness from the romance of the story but mostly self-doubt, that I felt upon reading. All these years that I thought I had won were a deception. I, being more single than ever before, felt like the biggest loser.
      This went on for a couple days. It was the first time I longed for marriage. It was the first time that every part of me ached for companionship. I came up with lists of why I wasn't lovable. I began to criticize each decision I had made, leading myself to be nearly 25, and without so much as an admirer. To top it off that same weekend was the wedding of my most recent ex-boyfriend's wedding. (Haha, I didn't know I could pull off tragic lonely girl so well....)
        So before I lose all dignity, let's move on. Valentine's Day is likely my favorite holiday. I ravish this day dedicated to expressing love! I know, I know, we shouldn't need a day to do it, but that fact that it is there to act as a reminder and opportunity is wonderful. To top this year's V-Day off, it's fallen on my favorite day of the week, Sunday!
        As I was getting ready this morning, reading through the endless feed of sweet dedications I thought to myself, what do I have to say about the man that I love? Here is the beginnings of  what I could come up with:

• He makes me feel beautiful  
• He makes me be the best version of myself
• He loves my family and friends as much, if not even more than I do!
• He pushes me to do things I never thought possible
• He's the best teacher is the world (A trait that I LOVE)
• He is fiercely loyal
• He tells me I'm special
• If there are 99 other people in a room, he still manages to make me feel remembered and unique
• He makes me so, so incredibly happy. 
• He has a plan
• He is dedicated
• He loves kids
• He not only hears me but he listens to me
• He is willing to pick up the slack, every time my dedication to the relationship isn't what it deserves to be
•  He makes my past feel noble, my present feel secure, and my future bright and exciting

   I could go on and on and on.....
My Savior, Jesus Christ, loves me. I love him. Until I find that special someone, here on earth, I can feel completely whole knowing that I am not alone, and that the most perfect human being there ever was loves me.

Romans 8:35,37-39

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril of sword?

Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

      May we each feel completely loved today. Because that's the truth, we are. Even without the chocolates, long dedications on social media, or flowers, we are so so loved. I love you, and happy Valentine's Day

Equation of Happiness

HAPPY SUNDAY!

And not just because *SPOILER ALERT* The Broncos WON! 

       I'm reading in Mosiah, and eating up every word King Benjamin has to say! It's like music is playing in my heart and the sun has come out after a long winter!

      The few verses I wanted to share with you begin with Mosiah 4:41, "...consider in the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God."

Why is this verse so intriguing?

       I confess to personally focusing way too much on how sad I am by the bad choices being made. I acknowledge, easily, how sad of a state the fallen are in. However, I don't often put the blessed and happy state of the righteous in the forefront of my mind. Seriously though, aren't my most consistently happiest and most consistently confident friends and family members the ones that are living the gospel faithfully? The answer is so obviously, yes.

It was touching to hear a convert of nine months say in our fast and testimony meeting today, "Ever since I became a member of the Church of Jesus of Christ of Latter Day Saints my bad days are no longer so bad, and my dark times are still bright because of the hope and happiness I have obtained."

Consider the happy and blessed state of the righteous.

The last two verses I want to highlight are in Mosiah 4:11-12 " And again I say unto you as I have said before, that as ye have come to the knowledge of the glory of God, or if ye have known of his goodness and have tasted of his love and have received a remission of your sins, which causeth such exceedingly great joy in your should, even so I would that ye should remember, and always retain in remembrance the greatness of God and your own nothingness, and his goodness and long-suffering towards you, unworthy creatures, and humble yourselves even in the depths of humility, calling on the name of the Lord daily, and standing steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come, which was spoken by the mouth of the angel. And behold I say unto you that if ye do this ye shall always rejoice and be filled with the love of God, and always retain a remission of your sins, and ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you or in the knowledge of that which is just and true."  (POWERFUL equation right there! Want to always rejoice, be clean, etc?..,THIS IS HOW!)

SO empowering. SO true. SO encouraging. The gospel makes me feel limitless! The gospel gives me confidence! The gospel gives me wings. I.AM.SO.HAPPY!!!!!

Here's a link to a song that always makes me smile :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHASQg8fR0s