From Father Lehi to My Own Mother's Dreams

      

         Once again I opened my scriptures to 1st Nephi chapter 1, wondering what new could possibly be found. As I began reading it this bright Sunday morning I was newly impressed by the form of revelation Lehi was often guided by. On seven different occasions in the few chapters I read, it makes mention that Lehi was led by his dreams. (1 Ne.1-9) One example is found in 1Nephi 2:1-3,

 1 For behold, it came to pass that the Lord spake unto my father, yea, even in a dream, and said unto him: Blessed art thou Lehi, because of the things which thou hast done; and because thou hast been faithful and declared unto this people the things which I commanded thee, behold, they seek to take away thy life. 2 And it came to pass that the Lord commanded my father, even in a dream, that he should take his family and depart into the wilderness. 3 And it came to pass that he was obedient unto the word of the Lord, wherefore he did as the Lord commanded him.

       My heart was touched as I thought about how humble one must be to have God's confidence that understanding will occur even in unconsciousness. It's a medium of revelation that occurs that I don't often receive but wish to with frequency. As I pondered and prayed about my new desire to have my dreams given to God I recalled a memory from my childhood.

    My Mom was sitting with us at breakfast with an almost troubled expression. She, in almost a daze, said, "I had a dream last night, I can't shake it from my mind..."
        She continued explaining that in her dream a dearly loved one of ours was in a horrific car accident right outside of our home. She was the first to the scene. She knew instantly that this was an incredibly dire situation. Not only did she feel panic for the casualties but she could hear us, her children, coming out of the house to see what the ruckus was about. She was panicked. How would her children ever recover from this unspeakable site? How could she protect her children from profound despair upon seeing one of the most important men in their lives lying on the ground, slowly dying?
       Tear streamed down her face, limbs numb, heart aching. One by one each of us came from the house and looked upon the accident. Although there was sadness in our eyes it was overshadowed by the presences of angels standing behind each of us. Hands on our shoulders, embraced in holy care.

And then she awoke.

The dream she recited deeply pressed upon my heart.

       It was months later that we learned of the devastating decisions being made by the particular relative she had dreamed of. She felt paralleled emotions to that of her dream as well. How would her children respond to such heart breaking news? How would her children ever find God's hand among such chaos and confusion.
       As she sat us down to inform us, there was an undeniable spirit of holiness in our presence. Our hearts broke yet none of us wavered in faith.Quite literally, hands were felt upon my shoulders. It was then that my Mother's prophetic dream was fulfilled. A mother's humility and all consuming concern for the well-being for her children, met with a need, gave way to a sacred experience for each of us.

        I pray that each of us will open our hearts to receiving God's comfort and guidance. As Lehi was willing to change his entire life, and as my Mom was able to find settling comfort, from a simple dream, God's most glorious blessing were given.I know the voice of the Lord. My goal is to acknowledge it whenever I hear it. To strive to tune out the voices of doubt, fear, and pride. To make His voice so clear that even through dreams I know it is Him.

      I testify that He speaks to us. I testify that The Book of Mormon was written to give us insights and guidance in our own lives.

Bucket Lists--Why They Matter to Me.

       So I guess autumn technically ends on December 22nd, but with the Christmas tree up and snow falling fairly consistently I felt like it was time to wrap up my fall bucket list. This has been a season of fun, adventure, courage, and success.

      As I've posted pictures on Instagram or invited people to participate in the array of activities I've received several harmless scoffs reminding me that, 'I've got to leave somethings to do for my future.' Although it was always said in jest I couldn't help but take serious thought to my 2015 mantra:

"The trouble is, you think you have time." -Buddah

       I believe in eternity, don't get me wrong. However I think all too often we let that idea keep us still. We don't pursue certain goals or dreams, hoping that one day we'll be a little braver, that we'll have that special someone to accompany us, that our funds will be larger, or that it will somehow become more convenient. I just don't think that "The Waiting Game" is always the route to take. 

      That's what fueled my year. What was I waiting to do? There were millions of things I had signed over to the future with the deep hope that one day I would be able to see them become part of my story rather than part of my aspirations. This year was it. I was going to follow the advice of all those radio hits and, "Live like I was dying." 

      I focus on the Fall Bucket List because it was the short list I decided to publicize. It included, hiking Donut Falls, going camping, riding the haunted ski lift with my family, going to a corn maze, jumping in a big pile of leaves, painting pumpkins, going to a football game, watching Hocus Pocus, going horseback riding, going on a hay ride, flying kites, going apple picking, and driving through the canyon. (Most things I had already done before, but felt like it would be a nice way to spend my time.)

       Did I accomplish all 13 items?! Well, actually, no. I didn't go apple picking and I didn't go on hay ride either. No reason besides poor planning. However, I did 11 really fun things that created a bunch of new memories and that facilitated quality time with a bunch of people that I love. Plus, I was able to do a lot of amazing things I hadn't planned on. Like, maybe I didn't pick apples but I think I picked my weight in raspberries. Maybe I didn't go on a hayride but I did ride a crazy roller coaster or two at Lagoon. Plus I got to go on a road trip with my roommates to visit other long time friends, go to the Bahamas (which was packed with incredible things), chop off my hair, go kayaking, hike some mountains I had never hiked, make new friends, visit with old ones, etc. The list is extensive! 

       One of the coolest things is, with every check I put on my bucket list, a handful of new ideas come to mind. There will always be more to see and more to do! I want God to know that I'm grateful for my ability to move and go and experience. Life is about progress. 

        Now it's on to my winter list and soon I'll be writing an even more challenging one to ensure 2016 somehow top the most incredible year of 2015. I hope you do the same. I also hope you invite me! 

       So...does anyone have a snowmobile they want to take me out on or know how to go ice fishing?   

My Legacy- To Love You

   

The photo wall next to my bed. It reminds me of how rich my life really is. 

 I sat and watched as these "troubled students" knock their heads back, befuddled by the question I had just posed. It was my second day as their teacher and I felt that it was incredibly important for me to understand the root of these students' desires. They're in my class generally because they struggle to stay on top of their work. A handful of them experiment with drug use, many of them have no support at home, there are those that experience depression, anxiety, and of course they each suffer from "being a teenager" (Ugh! We've all been there...)  They have failed classes in the past and are now barely keeping their heads above water.
       It's a fairly difficult job: Get the students who don't know how to, or don't care to succeed, to, well... succeed. I asked the students to stop what they were doing and sit in a big circle with me. I explained we would be spending the first bit of class getting to know each other. The girls seemed interested while the boys as if it was a ridiculous idea. I started with a simple question of what their favorite color was and we all answered. The person to my right had to ask the next question, and so forth until we had each asked one question and answered many. I loved watching the awkwardness melt away as they found points of connections with their peers. It finally came back to me and I asked the final question, "What do you want your legacy to be?"
       It's something that's been weighing heavily on my mind for a while now. Recently a friend from my own junior high years unexpectedly passed away, and then almost immediately following my neighbor and youth leader also returned to our Father in Heaven. I've listened as friends and family  recited memories of them. I've seen their Facebook pages flooded with kind words. I have even seen news articles dedicated to the impact that they have had on the world. I've almost been haunted by the question, what is my legacy?
      I started with my answer so the students would get that I was serious about the question. I told them that I wanted people to be able to say that I made them feel so loved, that I was a best friend to everyone I met. I heard many unique and touching answers. I had them write it down and hang it on the wall so they could remember that they didn't have to settle for being the trouble maker, class clown, or punk kid.
      My heart is changing. We are more than our weaknesses or bad moments. As I watch people leave my life I become a more forgiving, positive person. These relationships always seem to matter even that much more once they are gone. It's unfortunate that I don't always celebrate our relationships in the moment. However, realizing this has made it easier to develop the legacy I so desire to have. I'm surrounded by incredible examples and the kindest hearts. I love each of you. Your legacies inspire me. Your life matters to me. Your potential astounds me. I love you, so much.

       I'm grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ. It helps us maintain an eternal perspective. It requires us to grow. It teaches us to love. It reminds us of who we really are, children of God.